Parenting

Newborns are temporary – Zoom out if you can

Today I put my first born on a plane (yes, he insisted on wearing pajamas  because he is 14) for his first solo adventure to see some cousins in Colorado. And while this might not seem related to our work as a Postpartum Doula Agency… I’ve decided it is.

It is because… he was a newborn not that long ago. And I really do mean not that long ago. Not in the cliché way of “blink and you miss it,” because it’s not that simple – it HAS felt like 14 years in many ways… but instead what I mean is that when we “zoom out” we can get a glimpse of the reality that it will be a relatively small percentage of our lives that we are actively parenting, that our children live with us. And I share that not to say “enjoy every moment,” (because that’s another oversimplified cliché). Rather I share it because I KNOW that the parents I speak to, almost daily on the phone – while they’re having a challenging time with a newborn, or feel anxious about that day coming – find it almost impossible to zoom out, to see this as fleeting and temporary, or to project into the future, to picture the myriad of forms their parenting journey will take. (I know many of them find it almost impossible in part because I did, too). But zooming out, or projecting forward, is sometimes exactly what makes us better able to ground in the present moment: better able to surrender if this moment is hard; better able to relish if this moment is wonderful. So, it’s worth trying now and then.

One day, the newborn you hold today will walk onto a plane by themselves. You will either feel nervous, or sad, or happy for their adventure, or excited, even, to have your house feel a little quieter for a few days (!) Most likely, almost definitely, you will feel all of those things circling together. But if you’re a new parent, you already know that your ability to hold multiple emotions at once can surprise you. Zoom out. Surrender.

Kathryn KeenerNewborns are temporary – Zoom out if you can
Read More

Postpartum Doula Not in the Budget?

You’ve heard from friends about how amazing it was to hire a postpartum doula or newborn care specialist to help them adjust to life with a newborn, provide an extra set of hands, a listening ear, and a source of up-to-date information to answer all of their questions. Some of them had the doula come at night, to help with the accumulating sleep deprivation. So, you start to search the internet, maybe make some calls…. And bump up against the reality of your budget.

Many families, while they may have budgeted for baby gear, the nursery, and professional photos, among other expenses in preparation for baby… haven’t budgeted for this expense because they just didn’t know they would need it. (If you’re learning about these services early in pregnancy, of course we want to emphasize that it’s worth considering whether some of your budget could be set aside for these services instead of some other indulgences, and here’s why; you can’t put a price on the quality of your experience while becoming a parent to a newborn, or on the peace of mind that comes with knowing you have a safety net for when things prove more difficult or overwhelming than you were anticipating).

The truth is, whether or not you can afford ongoing support from a Postpartum Doula, you cannot afford not to give careful thought to what your needs will be during the postpartum period, and there are other things you can do to set yourself up for success.

A chat with your spouse (before baby arrives)

Have you thought about how you will suddenly have less time for other tasks, and for things you enjoy, and what you’ll do about that? What will you hire out, what will you let go of, what can your spouse take on that wasn’t previously on their list…? What do you think you will need from your partner in order to feel supported (not just logistically but emotionally)… and what will your partner need to make sure they are not only empowered in their role, but taken care of in order to help take care of you and your baby? Start to have these conversations. Put some action steps in place.

Childbirth education

How your birth goes can impact how quickly you recover and how you feel, physically and emotionally, during your earliest days with your baby/ies. Also, many Childbirth education (CBE) classes will spend some time addressing what to expect not just during labor but also during your first few weeks with baby, and what resources you might need. CBE classes come in a variety of formats, and the format you choose can depend on your learning style and/or ease of access. You can do in-person group classes, private in-home classes, live virtual classes, or purchase a pre recorded class to watch at your convenience. We have a link to one of our preferred prerecorded classes here; you can receive 10% off by using the promo code: 2021.

Lactation (or Infant Feeding) Education

Some of the early challenges with a newborn have a lot to do with how well they are feeding – is a latch issue leading to gassiness? Is baby getting enough breastmilk/formula? Too much? Taking a class before you welcome your baby can help set you up for success, help reduce some of the confusion during the early days of feeding your baby,… and help you have a plan for when you hit bumps in the road. Some organizations have videos you can watch, private classes, or group classes.

Infant Sleep 101

Why does everyone keep saying you’ll never sleep again? Having an awareness of the early sleep patterns, how they will change over time, and what you can do to ensure everyone is getting as much rest as possible, can prevent some of the shock of those early days. It’s worth reading a couple of chapters in a book about this, or scheduling a consultation call with one of our Sleep Coaches.

Newborn Care Classes

Take some time before baby is here to learn about some of baby’s cues and what they might mean (hunger, sleep, gas, etc). Learn about the basics of sleep – typical sleep patterns, and balancing an infant’s need for nutrition with the need for sleep. Understand baby’s nutritional needs and how to make sure they’re being met. And just get some basic tips around diaper changes, bathing, and interacting with your newborn! We host private and group Newborn Care Classes; learn more here.

A visit with a Lactation Consultant (IBCLC)

Some people wait until there is a problem to see an IBCLC. However, there is also the option to set up a private consultation during your first week home just to check in on you and baby and perhaps prevent problems before they begin, or catch them early. See our recent blog post about local IBCLC’s and the services they offer.

Local friends and family

Listen. This deserves a whole blog post of it’s own… but I promise you, there are people who want to help. Take them up on it. Whether it’s taking them up on their offer to bring food by (“if we’re resting, we’ll leave a cooler on the porch for you to drop it in, and we’ll visit another time!”) or to hold the baby while you take a shower, or take your toddler to the park… We know it’s so hard to accept help, especially when you’re not sure how or when you’ll reciprocate. It’s okay. You’ll want to do it for someone else one day, promise – and when you do, you’ll want them to take you up on it!

So many families that end up calling us after their baby is born, looking for help, end up saying something along the lines of “I should have prepared as much for postpartum as I did for labor and delivery!” or “We did so much reading up on pregnancy and delivery, we just didn’t think about what we could do to prepare for this part!” We’re hoping the tips here help you feel more prepared, and help to smooth your transition as you begin a new journey with your newborn.

Kathryn KeenerPostpartum Doula Not in the Budget?
Read More

Sleep Coaching Services at One Moon Doula!

We have some big news!!

When One Moon Doula expanded to an agency model three years ago, the focus was exclusively on Postpartum Doula services in order to streamline and provide the highest quality services possible.

Recently, we were finally able to re-launch our SLEEP COACHING SERVICES.

Our format is now highly specific and catered to the family that wants the most individualized and fullest level of support – in-home sleep coaching (i.e. handholding!) for 48-72 hours…. and unlimited email and phone follow up for four weeks. Basically, there’s no way to not see the progress you are seeking, using our expertise and our devotion to supporting you the whole way through.

By the way – it is fine and normal for babies to wake up during the night! And of course, our role as parents is to tend to their needs. This does not, however, mean that a night-waking habit cannot be addressed and improved – dramatically – with babies’ needs still being met. Also, guess who has needs too!? Parents. Guess what one of baby’s BIGGEST needs is? Healthy and happy parents!

So…..

INTRODUCING… One Moon Sleep! (Ideal for babies between 5 and 18 months!) Visit the page https://www.onemoondoula.com/sleep-coach for more information or to submit an inquiry!

Kathryn KeenerSleep Coaching Services at One Moon Doula!
Read More