All posts tagged: postpartum doula

The Top Three Reasons for Doula Burnout

In preparing to speak at the DONA International annual conference last year, I polled an online doula community about what factors either threatened, or ultimately led to, their burnout. Three main areas presented themselves:

  • Income Related Reasons 
  • Stress/Quality of Life
  • Isolation/Lack of Support

The income-related reasons had a lot to do with how hard it can be to anticipate income. Postpartum doulas are tasked with finding new assignments every few months, with potential gaps in between, and birth doulas may find the number of births per month varies and can’t always be known very far in advance, for example. There’s also sometimes trepidation about charging “too much,” either because there’s a culture that says doing this kind of work shouldn’t make you a lot of money (that’s for a whole other blog post) or because a doula is afraid of not being hired if their rate is too high. Many doulas also don’t account for the amount of unpaid time that is required to run a business.

Stress and quality of life are also contributing factors to burnout for a number of reasons. Sometimes doulas commit to a bigger workload than is sustainable for them, in part due to the concern about unpredictable income, or sometimes due to difficulty and discomfort with setting boundaries. (Have you ever had a family book 3 nights/week, which let’s say is your max… and then convince you to add more nights when you know from experience that 3 is your limit?!) Many doulas also reported that they thought they could work a certain number of overnights/week to make a certain level of income, or take a certain number of births per month… and then learned it was too hard on the body (whether that be the overnights/sleep deprivation, or the on-call lifestyle and irregular hours). In our previous blog post, we shared some tips (and a free download) for setting boundaries and preserving your quality of life while doing this important work!

A lack of support is another challenge to the longevity of doulas in the field. First, being a good doula does not mean having all of the know-how to run a business, and therefore many doulas report feeling overwhelmed in that area, without a reliable resource for the myriad of questions they have. Second, doula trainings can only prepare a doula for so much, and can only cover a certain percentage of possible scenarios they will encounter, and so there is a lot of “on the ground” learning that has to happen, that leads to a need to process with peers and mentors, seek feedback, and feel a sense of camaraderie. Without this support, the likelihood of a doula learning and growing in order to thrive is diminished. 

Knowing these potential traps and challenges can benefit a new or aspiring doula, and help them to enter on a career path with realistic expectations, and strategies for making this work sustainable for them. We’re passionate about helping doulas prevent burnout – to benefit them, and all of the potential families they may serve along the way! For this reason we’re offering a free webinar, How to Succeed as a Postpartum Doula – Without Burning Out! with many more tips about setting up for success and preventing burnout. Click the link to find out when it’s offered (typically at least twice a year, in March and August). We really hope to see you there! 

Kathryn KeenerThe Top Three Reasons for Doula Burnout
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Preventing Burnout for Doulas and Newborn Care Specialists

Doulas tend to naturally be giving people. We’re drawn to this work because we want to make an impact during a time of need. Being in a caretaker role can be rewarding… and draining. Many doulas and newborn care specialists have to go back to their own families between shifts and continue in some sort of caretaking role there, as well. And yet they’re reluctant to set the boundaries and put the conditions in place with their work to make sure they can continue in this field without burning out, because it’s tempting to be able to meet whatever accommodation a family might need. That, unfortunately, is not always possible or sustainable. Preventing burnout needs to be a central focus of doulas if they’re going to continue offering their deeply valuable services. 

Detachment 

The word “detachment” can seem cold or unfeeling, but if we want to pull from some ancient wisdom, in the Buddhist sense it actually has more to do with not holding on to things you can’t control. It’s important for doulas not to see themselves as the solution, or the savior for a client’s stress or challenges. A doula is a source of information and yes, empowerment at times. But you won’t have the perfect brainstormed solution for every client situation, not every tip or trick will be the “aha” you might hope it would be,… or be received in the way you hope. If we’re too attached to that outcome, the families feel it, and it comes with a pushing or forcing energy. If we need that outcome to prove our worth – or we need to stay constantly “busy” accomplishing tasks to feel we’re doing our job – we may be setting ourselves up for burnout. Now, I’m not going to lean on the overused term and say all we need to do is “hold space.” Our role does usually need to provide a mix of hands on support, household tasks, emotional support, and education. But not trying to be “everything to everyone,” at all times, is important. Which leads me to…

Balancing time during a shift

Not only is our insight not always the “salvation” the client needs… but breaking our backs to prove the value of our time with a client will lead to burnout as well. It’s okay if you’re not hustling the entire postpartum shift, or physically active during the entire time at a birth. Of course we want to add value, take tasks off their plates, increase their quality of life. These should be high priorities. But if as a postpartum doula you’ve taken care of some laundry and dishes and tidied up, helped to make a meal or a healthy snack, gotten the baby down for a nap, and there’s some down time… that’s okay too. You can ask if there’s anything they’d like you to research for them while you wait for baby to wake… or anything they want to discuss… but you can also explain (ideally in advance!) that you take advantage of those lulls to hydrate, have a snack, use the restroom… take a breather. If you’re there for an overnight, you can set realistic expectations about what parts of the shift are used towards what tasks (perhaps laundry at the beginning of a shift, but not in the middle of the night, for example), and normalize for them the importance of getting some rest when you can, in order to make your schedule sustainable. It should be clear in your intake conversations or interviews if this is your approach. 

Knowing your limits 

Another key ingredient to preventing burnout is to know your limits. So many doulas take more shifts/week – or more births/month – than is ideal for them, because it’s what the client wants and they have trouble setting boundaries, or because they want to take advantage of the opportunity to earn now to buffer against slow times. That’s a real consideration, but overbooking yourself is extremely likely to backfire later. Figure out what number of shifts (or hours) per week, or births per month, is sustainable for you. If you make an exception (say, taking 5 overnights shifts/week when your ideal max is 4) put a limit on how many weeks you’ll make that exception for. If you’re afraid of not getting hired because you can’t offer their ideal schedule, consider partnering with another doula to meet that family’s needs. 

For more tips on preventing burnout, download our FREE GUIDE: Preventing Burnout for Doulas and NCS’s.

And, check out our next blog post all about the top three reasons we see doulas burning out!

 

Kathryn KeenerPreventing Burnout for Doulas and Newborn Care Specialists
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How (and Where) to Find the Right Doula for Your Family

When searching for a birth or postpartum doula, or newborn care specialist, you have quite a few options – so many, in fact, that it can be seriously overwhelming! We’ll outline some potential avenues and strategies here. And, since working with a doula agency could be one option that can help you avoid some of that overwhelm, save some time, and add to your peace of mind… in our next post we’ll go into further detail about Working with an Agency to Find the Right Doula.

[A disclaimer of sorts… While the author is an agency owner, she was also a solo doula once! In addition, having heard from so many families for over a decade about their experiences searching for a doula, we wanted to offer this resource to families regardless of which route they choose!]

So, here’s a range of options for you:

  • Web search: You have the option of doing an internet search to find local doulas in your area that work as solo business owners. You may or may not be able to tell from their website what type of availability they have, or what their rates or minimums are (though many will have that listed) so this will likely involve submitting some online inquiries or reaching out by phone. Plenty of people find their doulas this way successfully of course, but there’s also the possibility you’ll spend quite a bit of time “barking up the wrong trees” if the doulas you reach out to aren’t available, don’t have certain requirements you’re looking for, aren’t responsive, don’t travel to your area, etc. A web search can however be a useful way to make sure a doula’s approach is aligned with what you’re looking for, especially if you check out their blog or social media. For example, if their materials are speaking primarily to families planning a homebirth, and you plan to give birth in a hospital, you may not be a match for each other. It just can take some time to weed through the results for all of the above information.

Because there is no formal licensing or uniform credentialing for this profession and technically anyone can call themselves a doula, this approach of finding a doula also may mean you want to call references and/or run background checks. You may also want to ask for verification of their credentials such as certificates from training they have taken, CPR certificates, vaccines, etc. Of course if you’ve already gotten names word of mouth, from trusted friends who had a great experience with a particular doula, that is valuable and can help steer you in the right direction for your search! More on that below.

  • Directories: You also have the option of searching within an online directory, most of which don’t necessarily have a vetting process, but can at least get you a listing of doulas in your area and perhaps their relevant qualifications. If the directory is on the website of a doula training organization, it may be reasonable to expect that they’ve only listed people who have taken their training, so that you at least know this much about them. Other directories allow doulas to list their own qualifications, without proof of such, and have never spoken with or vetted the doulas in any way, which is just something to be aware of. (It’s probably the rare individual who says she has a doula training or lactation credential, for example, and doesn’t… but we’ve seen it, so it’s important to mention here). Again, as with a web search, you can always ask the doulas you interview for any paperwork you feel you need to be comfortable with your selection.  
  • Word of Mouth: And of course, as we mentioned above, there’s the option of word of mouth, at least to start you on your way! In fact, believe it or not, there are amazing doulas out there who do not have a website or much of a web presence at all! (As you can imagine some of the people drawn to doula work – to providing catered and hands-on support to a family – do not have a particular penchant for administrative tasks or marketing, for example, as these are very different skill sets!) That said, keep in mind that just because your friend loved their doula, doesn’t mean their doula will necessarily have availability for your needs, travel to your location, work the hours you desire, have the vaccines you might require, etc. So, having more than one option here is best. 
  • Agency Search/Matching: Agencies tend to have an existing team, or network, of previously vetted doulas that they can match with your family based on schedule type, location, and even personality fit, as well as any preferences you have regarding the doula’s specialty areas, experience level, vaccine status, pet ownership if you have allergies… and the list goes on! This can save you quite a bit of time on your search, and narrow things down more quickly and effectively. In addition, usually the agency owner has already put the candidate through an application and vetting process, which often involves calling references. One of the nice things about this is that an agency owner knows what types of questions to ask the references in order to really get an idea of the doula’s temperament for this work, areas in which they may need coaching and improvement, etc. Ideally the agency also solicits feedback on a regular basis from their clients to keep tabs on how the doulas are doing in case there is anything that needs to be addressed. This can bring expectant parents the important peace of mind when making such a big decision as who to invite into their home following the birth of their baby/ies. Other benefits of working with an agency can involve access to backup support if your doula becomes ill, access to the agency owner if things aren’t going as anticipated, and potentially access to a doula “team” if your schedule can’t realistically be covered by one provider. Agencies often provide continuing education for the doulas and so it can also mean finding a doula who is more committed to ongoing learning and growth.

A note on collectives/collaboratives: It’s possible that collaboratives can have the benefits of backup support, and in some cases may help you narrow down your search. That said, we’ve found these terms are used rather inconsistently and so it can be hard to know what the benefits might be depending on the circumstances. Often a collective or a collaborative is a group of colleagues who share some marketing costs and distribute inquiries/jobs amongst the group. This does not necessarily entail a formal vetting process for members, though in some cases it may. It doesn’t necessarily mean that there’s one person with oversight deciding who might be a good fit for you, though in some cases it may. Often collectives/collaboratives are under-resourced to deal with the administration of fielding inquiries, follow up, matching, and other types of client support because generally no one is being paid for their time spent doing these tasks. (There may be a fee to be a member, but it’s generally a low and one time fee that covers mainly the web presence/minimal marketing efforts of the collaborative, whereas with an agency, there’s either a fee involved to cover these activities, or the agency owner keeps some portion of the cost as their fee). On the flip side, there are agencies who for one reason or another don’t want to call themselves agencies, and therefore put “collaborative” in their title… but structurally work more like an agency! This can be confusing for families to navigate. 

We’ll try to help you understand the different types of agencies (there are at least four potential agency types!) in our next post, Working with an Agency to Find the Right Doula.

Kathryn KeenerHow (and Where) to Find the Right Doula for Your Family
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Newborns are temporary – Zoom out if you can

Today I put my first born on a plane (yes, he insisted on wearing pajamas  because he is 14) for his first solo adventure to see some cousins in Colorado. And while this might not seem related to our work as a Postpartum Doula Agency… I’ve decided it is.

It is because… he was a newborn not that long ago. And I really do mean not that long ago. Not in the cliché way of “blink and you miss it,” because it’s not that simple – it HAS felt like 14 years in many ways… but instead what I mean is that when we “zoom out” we can get a glimpse of the reality that it will be a relatively small percentage of our lives that we are actively parenting, that our children live with us. And I share that not to say “enjoy every moment,” (because that’s another oversimplified cliché). Rather I share it because I KNOW that the parents I speak to, almost daily on the phone – while they’re having a challenging time with a newborn, or feel anxious about that day coming – find it almost impossible to zoom out, to see this as fleeting and temporary, or to project into the future, to picture the myriad of forms their parenting journey will take. (I know many of them find it almost impossible in part because I did, too). But zooming out, or projecting forward, is sometimes exactly what makes us better able to ground in the present moment: better able to surrender if this moment is hard; better able to relish if this moment is wonderful. So, it’s worth trying now and then.

One day, the newborn you hold today will walk onto a plane by themselves. You will either feel nervous, or sad, or happy for their adventure, or excited, even, to have your house feel a little quieter for a few days (!) Most likely, almost definitely, you will feel all of those things circling together. But if you’re a new parent, you already know that your ability to hold multiple emotions at once can surprise you. Zoom out. Surrender.

Kathryn KeenerNewborns are temporary – Zoom out if you can
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Thinking of Becoming a Postpartum Doula? Make Sure You Have These Four Things in Place

We’ve been recruiting and mentoring doulas for over 6 years, and fielding questions from people who are curious about becoming a postpartum doula. If that’s you, start here to make sure you know what to expect and how to set yourself up for success!  

Relevant Background

This work is great for someone who has a background in a relevant field such as early childcare, nursing, nannying, childbirth education, or other caretaking professions. If you don’t have much hands-on experience with newborns, we’d encourage you to dive in with that however you can to build confidence – help out some friends or family, volunteer at a hospital/NICU if you can (these opportunities can be hard to come by),… and if you lack in-person opportunities, start to watch some how-to videos on YouTube (regarding bathing, swaddling, soothing, etc…) Perhaps you could even attend a Newborn Care Class meant for new parents, or a breastfeeding support group, if the instructor and group would permit that. And while newborn care is a critical part of the role, we would ask you to think carefully if you’re getting into this work only for your love of babies – you are there to support the whole family, and your role is infinitely more complex than just baby care. 

Here are some videos to get you started! 

Bathing baby

white newborn baby in bath tub

BabyCenter Video Link

Swaddling baby

Right Temperament

You need to be able to adapt to each family’s needs, as well as their widely varied styles and preferences. The goal is nonjudgmental support, so you’re going to need to be able to let go of strong feelings you may have about the “best” ways to do certain things. You’ll have to feel out (and ask!) whether they’re wanting input and information, or whether they just want things done a certain way. Families generally want someone who can “read the room,” and know when it’s a good time to engage, vs a good time to quietly find tasks that will help to support the needs at hand. They’re not always going to want to feel like they have “company” and sometimes they don’t want to have to come up with things for you to do, so taking initiative – with their consent – will be important. Some new parents will have a lot on their minds, will be looking for a listening ear… and you’ll form a close and intimate relationship. Others are more private, and you’ll have to figure out how to communicate with them while respecting their space. As you can see, communication skills and an ability to adapt are critical to having the right temperament for this work!

Appropriate Training

We hear from aspiring doulas that they feel an immense pressure to choose the “right” doula training. Here’s some good news about that – we really feel you should not pick just one. Start with one, of course. Then build some traction with your business. Once you have earned some money, and have some paying clients lined up… consider taking another training (perhaps a year later). You’ll gain some insight and learn something new at each one. 

A main consideration for training is choosing between in-person, pre-recorded, or live virtual trainings. We tend to lean towards in-person or live virtual trainings because they are more dynamic, provide more opportunities to ask questions and learn from the participation of other attendees. That said, you know your learning style best, so take that into consideration as well. Then, there’s the mission and brand of the training organization you will want to get a feel for. We talk about this more in our workshop, Career 101 for Postpartum Doulas (more information below!)

Realistic Expectations

Too many people get into this work without truly understanding what it takes to make it work, or how to set boundaries to avoid burnout. You need to understand that due dates are unpredictable, so many of your plans will be tentative (What will you do to best accommodate the family if the baby comes early and overlaps with another client or other plans? What will you do if baby comes late and has a NICU stay, delaying your income by a few weeks?) If your availability is very limited and rigid, you may not be a good fit for this work or will need to at least understand that many families will want to select a doula who has more flexibility. At the same time, having some clear boundaries is important. 

Questions you will want to consider:

Will you offer day shifts? Night shifts? A combination? What’s your ideal number of hours per week and is there room for that to fluctuate, given that some families want to start with more support and scale back, or vice versa? Will you need backup support? What will your arrangement be with that person? Does joining an agency make more sense for you?

Families’ needs will often shift and change, and you will benefit if you have explained clearly in advance, both in your interview and your contract, what changes you can and can’t accommodate – and what that means for the financial commitment they have made to you. It’s a balance to strike, offering some flexibility to the family while still being able to accurately predict your income over a given period of time. 

Once you’ve reflected on these four areas, you’ll be much more prepared to start this career path with your eyes open and your doula feet nimble! We go deeper into these considerations, as well as other issues such as scope and scheduling, in our Career 101 Webinar 

Kathryn KeenerThinking of Becoming a Postpartum Doula? Make Sure You Have These Four Things in Place
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The Top 3 Tools for Finding the Perfect Doula Match

Not every family is looking for the same thing when hiring a Postpartum Doula. Some really prize experience, in the form of years working as a doula, and/or families served. Others put more emphasis on the personal “fit,” how they emotionally connect with this person, whether they have the right energy and approach for their family (along with, of course, professional training and some amount of relevant experience). Some parents value life experience more than they value professional experience, and still others have specialty area requests like a doula with extra lactation education, or experience working with twins or premature infants.

As part of our specialized matchmaking process we’ve sent many doulas out to many interviews over the years, and learned from the clients and from the doulas what resonated and went well, and what left the families feeling uncertain about the match. We’ve counseled our doulas before and after interviews about how best to communicate their particular strengths and offerings to the families, and how to establish a connection and to model what it would be like for the family to have that doula as a caretaker and support person, so that the family can make an informed decision that they feel confident in! From our experience, finding that perfect doula match all comes down to these three main tools or components: the bio, the interview, the references.

The Bio

The doula’s bio can serve to paint a picture of the doula’s qualifications and personality. It will include their training information, their philosophy towards support or their “why,” other relevant work experience, advanced trainings, and areas of expertise. The bio is often what opens the doors of communication– but it’s just a starting point! While it’s helpful to get a feel for what has led the doula to this line of work, we caution doulas not to go into too much detail about their own birth or postpartum experience, due to the fact that families want to make sure the doula is coming with an open mind and with their focus on that family’s experience, not with any personal agenda.

The Interview

The interview is a chance for the doula and parents to connect and get to know each other. We encourage doulas to just be comfortable in their own skin, and help the families get a sense of what it will be like to have that doula in their home! The doula will likely ask questions about the family’s goals and expectations for their postpartum period. The family might ask that the doula expand on what’s in her bio, and ask how they have supported other families. There can be talk of scheduling parameters and availability, fees if that hasn’t been covered prior, how any potential needs for backup support might be handled. These days it can also be a time to check in about expectations about social distancing and other covid-related questions. The interview is the opportunity for both parties to determine it’s a good fit and that they’d like to move forward.

The References

If you’re working with an agency such as ours, you may opt to skip this step due to the vetting that is part of our process (including calling references, and continually seeking feedback from families). Otherwise, checking in with a few families that a doula has previously served is a great way to gain insight into their philosophy towards care and their energetic presence in the home. Questions to ask include: What role did the doula play in the household? Did it change over time? How did they present themselves each day? Were they higher energy and personable, or lower energy and calming? How did their presence make you feel? How did they share information with you? Were they direct, or did they wait for you to ask for advice? Hearing their answers may help you gain clarity on what exactly you’re looking for and which of these factors are most important to you!

Both the bio and the interview work to establish a connection and to model what it would be like for the family to have that doula as a caretaker and support person, so that the family can make an informed decision that they feel good about. Calling references (or going through an agency that has done so) provides that added reassurance that helps you feel confident in your choice.

Parents!

If you’d like to get started with our Doula Matching Services, just fill out this brief form if you haven’t already. We’ll send you some additional information, then schedule an intake call, and then if you’re interested in moving forward, we’ll narrow down the search and send you bios of the doulas we feel would be a great match! There’s a little more info about our network of doulas here.

Doulas!

We’ve used our years of matchmaking experience to develop a Webinar, “Bio Writing and Interview Skills,” where we can help you understand what families are looking for. We help make sure you are communicating their strengths and relevant experience in your written materials, such as your Doula bio. We also help you not only anticipate common interview questions, but formulate authentic ways to answer them that convey why you have all of the important qualities to offer families the support you need. Whether you’re a brand new doula or have been practicing for years, the interview process has the potential to transform your business and multiply your opportunities. Join us to make sure you are catching your clients’ attention and getting hired! Find more information here.

Kathryn KeenerThe Top 3 Tools for Finding the Perfect Doula Match
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Mother’s Day Shoutout!

We’re hoping you had a Mother’s Day that included some rest, some snuggles, and some time to reflect. Here at One Moon Doula we spent some time reflecting on all of the mothers we’ve been so honored to serve!

So far in 2018 we’ve served the mother (and father) who tried for a 4th… and got twins! We’ve served the single woman who decided to become a mama on her own… the mom who is keeping her postpartum anxiety at bay by bringing one of our doulas in for overnights so she can get the sleep that quiets her anxiety… even the mom who was certain there was no way she could trust someone else with her newborn, but knew for her wellbeing she would have to try, at least for a few short shifts. We’ve served the mom who was so nervous about how her toddler would take the change, and the mom whose partner travels for work and wanted to make sure she wouldn’t be alone when he’s gone. We’ve served moms who are struggling with decisions about how to get their babies to sleep better, with decisions about whether to supplement with formula and which one, with whether to persevere through a difficult breastfeeding situation, and with decions about when to go back to work, and whether to seek help for a postpartum mood disorder.

Mothering a newborn (or newborns!) can be overwhelming – sometimes with overwhelming joy and love, but sometimes with overwhelming stress and sleep deprivation, or most likely some combination. When you commit to your own wellbeing, you are committing to the wellbeing of your child!

Cheers to all of you who are finding ways to take care of yourselves so you can care for those around you. Carry on, mamas!

Kathryn KeenerMother’s Day Shoutout!
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CAREER 101 for Postpartum Doulas

 

Follow us for career tips and advice!

 

How to decide if the Postpartum Doula role is for you:

Are you an early childcare provider? Retired nurse? “Stay at home” parent? Some parts of the job might feel familiar and which might push you out of your comfort zone. Are you a birth doula who always figured being a postpartum doula would feel like babysitting? (It’s not). Or you’re already a postpartum doula who wants to grow your career? Use our resources for doulas to learn about the impact you can have with growing families!

Choosing a training or training organization:

There are many trainings offered. Consider whether a prerecorded format is best for you, or whether you learn best in person… or you like the online format but prefer it to be live or have a live component!

The lifestyle:

Figure out if this work fits your lifestyle. Some Postpartum Doulas do only day shifts, others only night shifts, and others do both. What to do about the fact that you can’t be sure of your start date with each client, due to birth being unpredictable? What if you can’t cover all of the client’s needs? How to balance multiple clients and due dates? Slow seasons and busy seasons? What can you expect to earn? Our webinar, “How to Succeed as a Postpartum Doula, Without Burning Out!” is a great place to explore these scenarios.

Business structure:

Will you be a solo practitioner? Find a partner? Work as an independent contractor with an agency? All of the above!? How do each of these approaches impact your earning potential?

Next steps:

What are some of the basics you need to have in place to begin your career?

Join Us!

Sign up for our webinar, held 2-3 times per year, to set yourself up for success!

Participation in this workshop in no way implies or guarantees any association between attendees and One Moon Doula Services (OMD). OMD is not currently seeking doulas but does periodically have openings, which require individuals to go through an application and interview process to be considered for contract work.

Kathryn KeenerCAREER 101 for Postpartum Doulas
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