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Borrowing Sugar – Ahem, WINE – from the Neighbors

June 3, 2016 Kathryn Keener
Borrowing Sugar – Ahem, WINE – from the Neighbors

Remember when borrowing sugar from the neighbors was a thing? I actually remember my mom sending me next door with a measuring cup to get ¼ cup of sugar. Once, it may have been vinegar.

Well, I’m not ashamed to admit, in my version of adulthood, it was wine (come to think of it, that’s kind of like a sugary vinegar now, isn’t it?). Not only had it become less common, maybe less acceptable to show up at the neighbors asking for stuff (I think it is seen as too intrusive, at least in the NY neighborhood where we lived) but I went ahead and upped the ante from sugar to wine.

Kathryn KeenerBorrowing Sugar – Ahem, WINE – from the Neighbors
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NOT Your Mother’s Mothers’ Day

May 7, 2016 Kathryn Keener
  • NOT Your Mother’s Mothers’ Day

Do you feel it?

I think the way we look at moms is shifting…

I think there is greater recognition for what we do. For the parts that are tangible and the parts that are not. For what we sacrifice and don’t get back, even if yes, there are sweet rewards. For the costs – to our bodies, our careers, our psyches when we wonder if we are doing right by our children. (Approaching discipline in an age-appropriate way? Over scheduling or under scheduling them? Leaving them too much or helicopter parenting? Respecting their preferences or coddling???) I think, for a few reasons including those below, we might be approaching a cultural shift towards a climate where we honor and revere mothers for all they do. Where we stand in solidarity with any mother who feels judged, gypped, or unsupported. Where we elevate the status of motherhood to where it is consistent with the significance of bearing life, nurturing bodies, spirits and minds, to where it includes acknowledgement of giving up any chance at autonomy or predictability, any chance of being able to make one decision that doesn’t hinge on four or five others, any chance of ever feeling like we’ve mastered anything for a good 18+ years, or probably forever.

Kathryn KeenerNOT Your Mother’s Mothers’ Day
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5 Reasons NOT to Join a Doula Agency

April 15, 2016 Kathryn Keener

I knew starting a postpartum doula agency might raise some eyebrows in the doula community. I wasn’t sure why, exactly, other than the fact that “new and different” tends to raise eyebrows. But wow did I come across a GOLDMINE of reasons just the other day, on a rant on social media from a well-respected doula in our area. Now, don’t get me wrong, I am not taking her post as if it were directed at me. But she has quite the following (for good reason – she has worked long and hard supporting and educating doulas and families), and so while the post might not be directed at me, I don’t think there’s any way around the fact that she has just used her influence in a way that directly disrespects me, my business, and my independent contractors (agency doulas). So, whether I like it or not, I feel obligated to respond.

Kathryn Keener5 Reasons NOT to Join a Doula Agency
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Childcare at Work: “It really is not just making a living, it really is making a life.”

April 10, 2016 Kathryn Keener

This is so important for all of us to watch. While paid leave is also an important part of the puzzle, HERE is an idea that doesn’t have to get government approval or cost taxpayer money. Parents are going to pay for childcare somewhere, why not 1) reduce their commute time by having it at the work location, 2) increase their access to their children 3) contribute to the success of breastfeeding with such access in many cases,… and the benefits go on an on as described in this video. In fact, many parents would likely pay a higher rate for these benefits, and many employers, if they looked at how much turnover from the highly educated female workforce is technically costing them, would be willing to incur some cost to provide such a benefit.

Kathryn KeenerChildcare at Work: “It really is not just making a living, it really is making a life.”
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Luna Cookies: A Healthy, One-handed Snack for Parents of Newborns – Courtesy of One Moon Doula Services

March 28, 2016 Kathryn Keener
Luna Cookies: A Healthy, One-handed Snack for Parents of Newborns – Courtesy of One Moon Doula Services

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One Moon Doula “Luna Cookies”
recipe and photos courtesy of Megan Ameral

Our Luna Cookies are the perfect, one-handed snack! Sweet oat cookies filled with dried blueberries (full of antioxidants such as vitamin A and C) and nutty cacao nibs packed with magnesium and calcium. Little bites of cinnamon and creamy coconut manna make these a decadent treat every family should have packed in their freezer. The perfect balance of healthy and delightful –pack a ziplock to throw in your diaper bag to go, or crumble on ice cream (dairy free if that’s your thing) for the rest of the family. Brewer’s yeast is optional but can support your breastfeeding goals. Ask your postpartum doula to make you a batch, they are a sweet “pick me up” to any Mamma’s day!

Kathryn KeenerLuna Cookies: A Healthy, One-handed Snack for Parents of Newborns – Courtesy of One Moon Doula Services
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The Postpartum Doulas of One Moon Doula Services, LLC

March 1, 2016 Kathryn Keener
The Postpartum Doulas of One Moon Doula Services, LLC

Last week I held the first team meeting with One Moon Doula’s newest postpartum doulas.

I’m so impressed.

Selecting a team at this time in my life, at almost 40 years old, couldn’t have been better timing. Combining my life experience and work experience with a renewed trust in my gut, confidence in my judgement… led me to know almost instantly who would be a good fit – not just for my agency, and for our clients, but for each other as colleagues and teammates.

Kathryn KeenerThe Postpartum Doulas of One Moon Doula Services, LLC
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The Three (Actually Four) Reasons I’m Opening a Doula Agency

January 19, 2016 Kathryn Keener

I’ve had such a positive response – from parents, providers, and doulas – about my plan to open an agency of postpartum doulas to serve the families in North County, San Diego. It’s a wonderful affirmation of the need, as seen by all of the stakeholders.

I’ve also had some questions. Most are just to understand better. Some come tinged with a hint of suspicion (of what I’m not sure), or skepticism.

So I’ll just lay it all out there.

I’m doing it for the parents.

Parents who don’t exactly know what a postpartum doula is, but they DO know they need help. Think about the amount of time that must go into googling the term, surfing around on various sources (that are also highly variable in terms of quality and accuracy). Then, once they’ve figured out if it’s something they want to pursue, the time that goes into researching each particular doula in their area (they’ll also come across quite a bit of variety there). Then, they’ll have to narrow it down to a few, and ideally make time to meet with each one.

Kathryn KeenerThe Three (Actually Four) Reasons I’m Opening a Doula Agency
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Tips for Feeling a Little Less Lonely with a Newborn

January 9, 2016 Kathryn Keener

As I talk about in this post, Jennifer Senior in All Joy and No Fun tells us that women’s contact with people in their networks shrinks in the early child-rearing years, and that a study in 2009 found that 80 percent of mothers surveyed believed they didn’t have enough friends and 58% felt lonely. Here’s a list of just a few simple steps you can take to make your time with a newborn less lonely:

Kathryn KeenerTips for Feeling a Little Less Lonely with a Newborn
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It Takes a Village – But You’ll Have to Build it Yourself

July 27, 2015 Kathryn Keener
build your village

The last three clients who enlisted my postpartum doula services had something in common: their level of isolation as new parents. The first couple has moved here from out of the country and all of their family is abroad. The second couple hasn’t found friends since moving to a new location. The third couple also moved recently, haven’t had a chance to make any friends yet, and family is not nearby. (A few people from their church have offered to help but they don’t know them well and feel awkward taking them up on their offers). Two out of three of these families also had a spouse return to work after just two weeks. This made for some long and frustrating days for the mothers who were trying to figure out feeding issues, and/or longing for the autonomy they had before baby arrived, and/or dealing with sleep deprivation and powerful hormonal shifts.

Kathryn KeenerIt Takes a Village – But You’ll Have to Build it Yourself
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About the Author:

Kathryn Keener is a postpartum doula and owner of One Moon Doula Services in San Diego, CA. She previously worked as a mediator of various types of disputes for almost 15 years. Both careers have given her a unique glimpse into the personal lives of people in the midst of life's changes and life's challenges. Here on her blog she muses about parenthood in the United States, including issues such as sleep deprivation, changing roles and identities, work/life balance, policies surrounding birth and postpartum, and forging our own communities and support so we don't have to go it alone.

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